Choosing the Right Habits Matters

In the pursuit of a more fulfilling life after leaving your career, one often sets goals, tries new habits, and adopts popular self-care routines. But here’s something most of us overlook, not every practice is right for everyone—and that’s okay.

This is where the concept of preferment comes in. Preferment isn’t just about choosing something better; it’s about choosing what’s better for you. It’s the conscious decision to elevate your life by aligning your actions with who you are at your core. And science backs this up.

Why “Fit” Matters More Than Force

Happiness research has shown that the most effective strategies for well-being aren’t the ones you force yourself into—they are the ones that feel natural, interesting, and meaningful to us. This is called Person-Activity Fit, and it is a game-changer.

Think of it like finding the right pair of jeans. You might admire someone else’s style, but if their jeans pinch your waist or make your butt look wider than it is, they are not made for you. The same goes for personal growth habits. If a practice doesn’t feel like a natural extension of your values, it won’t stick—nor will it satisfy.

Signs of a Good Fit

When a strategy aligns with who you are, it feels:

·      Natural – You’re not pretending. It flows.

·      Interesting – You want to learn more or go deeper.

·      Valuable – It connects to something you care about.

·      Motivating – It energizes you rather than depletes you.

This is the sweet spot—the green zone on the Person-Activity Fit scale. The closer your habits fall within this zone, the more likely they are to improve your emotional health, resilience, and overall happiness.

Making Preferment Practical

So how do you put preferment into action? Here are three practical steps:

Reflect on What’s Already Working

Think about times when you felt most grounded, joyful, or motivated. What were you doing? Who were you with? These are clues to your natural preferences.

Experiment Thoughtfully

Try out new well-being practices (like gratitude journaling, meditation, or movement), but don’t commit just because others swear by them. Ask: Does this feel like me?

Give Yourself Permission to Pivot

If something doesn’t feel right—even if it’s "proven" to work—let it go. Preferment is personal, not prescriptive.

From Default to Deliberate Living

The path to lasting happiness isn’t about doing more. It’s about doing what fits your unique life choices. Preferment invites you to move from default choices to deliberate, aligned actions. And when you do, you give yourself the best chance to thrive—not in someone else’s way, but in your own. Because the most sustainable practices are the ones that speak your language.